So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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