oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
