remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
