I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
