felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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