This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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