I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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