My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
