Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
