she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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