you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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