Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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