I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
