before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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