one two three fourrrrnication!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the day after is always just damage control
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
