i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
