Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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