Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
