His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
