my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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