I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
