We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
