u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
