I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
