all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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