So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
