last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
