the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize