her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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