Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
