I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
