Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
