Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
