11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
