I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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