just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize