dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
