We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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