im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
