Soap is not a condiment
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
