My nipple is on Facebook.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
