are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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