After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
