His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
