theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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