i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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