I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
