i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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