ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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