I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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