i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
