Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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