it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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