My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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