Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
