i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
