just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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