scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize