Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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